On a lighter note....
Time to discuss some of those things that annoy me.
Before I proceed however, let me give a disclaimer.
You may notice one thing about me...besides the dots....you may think to yourself, "oh my, she's so judgmental"...
I am. I own it. I can't say I'm proud of it, but it IS who I am. What comes with that though, IS I will also point out every one of my own problems, I am VERY aware of my flaws, my annoying habits, and have nit picked myself to pieces LONG before you have even noticed them....TRUST! I own who I am....and I just believe whole heartily if people were more like me...and did things my way...the world would just be better! period.
Before you Start rolling your eyes, STOP IT! Think realistically now.... You know good and well, if everyone on the road drove EXACTLY like you...and graduated from driving school YOU conducted...road rage would cease to exist...right!? RIGHT! It's the dumb people on the road that make driving a less than desirable experience....just sayin! WE are the best drivers on the road, and everyone else should take lessons....correct? I think YES!
Okay since we are on the "driving" topic....
Why is it people pull out in front of me when there is NO ONE behind me...and I mean no one, it's like a field of sunshine and rainbows in my rear view mirror..but these idiots for some reason decide they NEED to get in front of me, just barely missing my front end kissing their ass end as they do it....then they REFUSE to drive at a speed in which I can finally release the brake? WHY?
Do they really think waiting that 14 seconds it would take for me to safely pass them, and give the road behind me to them free and clear will alter something other than them skipping the morgue if I so happen to NOT get slowed down enough to allow their successful asinine maneuver. On a side note....make NO mistake I daily have to make a quick decision if today will be the day I finally do what I dream of doing every time these idiots do this.....JUST LET IT HAPPEN....slam right on into the rear back door of their precious vehicle.....oh how I swear one day...it will happen. I just don't get it, Why is this the driving practices of so many? I get the turn out if there is a gazillion cars behind me...I don't get the free road behind me...and the senseless granny speed once they have the road ahead of me,,,dumb~!
What about those freeway dummies who take my "safety cushion" and mistake it for a red carpet laid out for them to slither in where there is clearly not enough room...but figures once he starts the uninvited invasion of my lane I will follow his lead and proceed to my brakes and allow him full entry. Another circumstance where one day...one day...I'm just going to neglect the brake and see what happens....because HIS car is newer than mine...and will ruin his day much more than mine.
Then there are the people on the streets that have 3 or more lanes...zigging in and out of cars and lanes with no regard or thought to anyone who may not have the quickest reflexes in the world. Again...tempting fate with a horrendous accident that could have so easily been avoided had he just stayed in the lane he started in...because we ALL see you at the red light we meet up together at. (those who drove in a normal manner)..and LAUGH OUR BUTTS OFF at you...yup...you're an idiot.
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Friday, January 30, 2015
WHO AM I....
Well, I guess the best way to describe "ME" is to break it down into segments of my life.
I am a child victim of a nasty divorce. Nasty custody battles, and at the end of the day... a woman with severe emotional damage brought to me by my parents. YAY parents! They aren't bad, don't get me wrong...but I think BEATING the other parent for custody was more for the WIN not the kid. Unfortunately I suffered in that battle.
I had a normal childhood. Played with Barbies, Easy Bake Ovens, and danced and sang in my room. It wasn't until that horrible age of about 12/13 ... you know that wonderful age where your friends go through the CHANGE...not the puberty change...but the SOCIAL STATUS change.....where overnight somehow in some cosmic way it is decided who is cool and who is not. Apparently I was NOT cool, and the people who were once nice to me and ate lunch with me decided I was not accepted in the higher form of status they were given while sleeping...ya..it still boggles my mind how that happened....was it my gap teeth that was my automatic disqualification....but hey...I have these GREAT blue eyes...doesn't that balance out that flaw? For whatever reason....I was at the bottom of the food chain, and it was lonely and depressing. It was a less than memorable junior high existence. Thank God I had the group of girls that never betrayed me or ever made me feel "unworthy". Michelle, Christy, and Angela....THANK YOU. Junior High was the pivotal change in my self esteem...that is when self doubt and self pity set in. Why can't I be cool? Why can't I be popular...what is wrong with ME?
High School..9th and 10th..pretty much the same. I was not bullied per-say, the way I see kids today bullied, but I was taught "my place"... and I stayed in it. I couldn't afford to rock that boat...I still had the big gap teeth, and very noticeable Kmart wardrobe in a Jordache kind of world. Found new friends as my Jr. High buddies were making new friends as well, and we slowly drifted apart. The problem I found at this point in my life was maintaining more than ONE friend...Was it the trauma of the Jr. High change? For whatever reason, I really only wanted my friend to be MY friend and nobody else's......as Dr. Phil would say..."so how'd that work out for you?" It didn't! LOL... I was almost, okay not almost...I was clingy. Embarrassingly so.
I spent most of my time when I wasn't doing " teen girl" things with my BFF, Yesenia...who by the Grace of God saw past whatever everybody else didn't like about me, and truly loved me....if not at the mall, sunbathing with baby oil, or on the phone I was.reading and writing Short stories about young beautiful girls with the most amazing boyfriends...oh Bjorne....and the twins Holianna and Polianna who were all in a love triangle....I found a life I could create and be a part of fictionally...yet could NEVER actually truly attain, Where was I that fateful night someone was handing out status points???
In the 11th grade I moved...switched schools...and reinvented myself the best I could. Even changing my name to Jenna....life was better, and I still wasn't hanging out with the cheerleaders...but I was comfortable. by the 12th grade....another school...and it was horrible. That is when I got pregnant with our oldest...and ultimately dropped out all together. (That awesome feeling when you say MOM DAD...I'm 17 and pregnant.....and they send you to an unwed mothers home so as they don't have to handle the "problem",,,,, ya that still stings....but again my parents were about the WIN not the KID!
I didn't survive jr and sr high....I slithered my way through maintaining "my place" trying my hardest to just BLEND in. If they don't notice me, they won't hurt my feelings. Because quite honestly....the words we hear good or bad....stay with us forever. If maybe I had braces..it wouldn't have gone so far...I don't know. See how I constantly refer to those damned teeth...but really HONESTLY....I don't know what else was wrong with me to be the target of such disgust from others...like I was a walking disease....I have done great soul searching in my lifetime,,,and that is still the ONE thing I can't figure out.....why was I put in the "loser" category? Okay...enough of that, I rambled deeper than I planned.
What I took from my school experience is this... It's hard to be a kid...it's damn near impossible to get out unscathed in some way. But if we make it....we have a story. My experience was like many others, and better than many more....but...MY experience is what I know, and what has helped contribute to who I am today. Being an outcast from dances, parties, and the cool table...did NOT define who I am...but it was a major contributor to the next several years.
I had my first child at 17...and by the time I was 26 we had 4 beautiful children together. There's a big gap in the story, because that will be for another day :o) But at about the time I had our last child is when I started realizing the person I was...wasn't who I wanted to be, I was depressed, had no self esteem, and truly just "existed". I was VERY defensive and timid with new people. I was the most paranoid person you would ever meet....I felt as though everyone was against me, didn't like me, and I was unworthy of anyone else caring about me but my husband. I of course feeling that way, pretty much made me an angry, bitter, pathetic kind of person to be around. I had my husband, I had my kids....but who the hell was I? Isn't it time to figure this out and find that REAL genuine smile that I hadn't seen in years.
The times were changing, I worked for a long time on what needed to be addressed in my life to find what personality of mine ( so many to choose from hahahaha) I wanted to nurture, and which ones I wanted to put to bed for good. The husband.....without going tooooooo deep into that because that's a novel all on it's own....he found me when I was 17, Broken, damaged, cast aside by not only my friends but by my own FAMILY as well...enough said???? He trained me the way he wanted me, and I really had no idea that was even happening. I got used to ASKING for things, Getting PERMISSION, Acting like a "stepford" wife (without the clean house of course...keeping it real). Did he do this on purpose...I truly doubt it, he knew no better either, and because I had NO clue as to what a "normal" relationship truly was....I should just be thrilled someone was taking care of me. The parents quit...and there was NO sight of them coming in to save me from myself...so I took these years as - just be happy he is still here and hasn't deserted your sorry ass too. Who else will deal with you and your screwed up self? My eyes opened on that situation one day...and I was like....UMMMMMMM I don't think so!!! Just a snippet into that situation, so much more that will be revealed later...
The search was on..and I was looking hard at myself, my personal issues, and the issues of others.What was real...what was fabricated, and what was just plain old baggage from way back when from family to friends that created this and I put it on like my favorite slippers??? I was allowing others to DECIDE who I was....I searched, I cried, I got mad, and I got answers... I found self worth. Not just because I was a good Mom....but because I actually had something to offer...I had ME. Quite frankly...ME is pretty cool. Teeth got fixed...I grew out of that awkward stage that seemed to last 15 years too long...lol, and I actually woke up one day looked in the mirror and said.....ummm, where'd you come from? I am not and never was beautiful (by Jr. High standards ya know, lol)...not in the least...but I saw something I had never seen....it was that OMG I wasn't UGLY! Did anything change? No, I just saw myself from my own eyes, not the mean kids in school or the family who had betrayed my childhood.... for the VERY FIRST time in my life. I had broken free from that burden...and it felt wonderful.
I have a voice, I have opinions, and I have LOVE to give. True, honest, unconditional love..but....I also have found boundaries, and only those DESERVING of my love - get my love. I can't afford to waste my time or energy on people who can't return the love to me without conditions.(crazy how there are more people in our lives that have strings, than those who do not) I don't have room in my life for fair weathered friends, or toxic personalities, I have no need to "collect" friends. No desire to put on some show to be accepted by different groups of people. I am who I am...I am raw. I am real, and I YES, I am so VERY flawed!
I can appreciate the roads I must have HAD to take to get to this place in life...but I do wonder....how many of those detours and roadblocks were my own doing. Self sabotaging without even realizing it. Why did it take so long to find peace within? Those answers I may never know...but what I do know..I will keep searching and looking , because there is ALWAYS more to the story, and more to learn. Using my experiences in EVERY way possible to help my daughters and sons to bypass as many of those detours as possible.
Life isn't easy.... from the moment the social status fairy (or for the other half, we refer to her as social status bitch) shows up in every one of our lives... everything is altered...whether for the good or bad...your LIFE does change at that moment. I just understand the Underside of that coin personally. As far as the parents part of my not so ideal childhood...that's a story for another day, or one I may keep to myself. I DO hold bitterness and anger to this day, more so because I AM a parent and just can't understand the ease to discard your own child, Blows my damned mind, honestly how a parent could really just "check out" on the responsibility to THEIR child......but I am at peace with JUST enough of it to allow myself to NOT let it control me any longer. I have a relationship with them that I keep within lines. My life, MY boundaries. That's how I roll.
I have skipped things, years, and many other contributing factors to who I am,... but this was getting too long, so perhaps another day...another look into ME. But for now...I made it to a happy place, and for now....that is ALL that matters!
I am now 42. I have a better understanding of "my place"... and it's any damn where I want it to be!
I now OWN the cool table....I AM the party, and I LIVE at the top of the food chain.
I am a child victim of a nasty divorce. Nasty custody battles, and at the end of the day... a woman with severe emotional damage brought to me by my parents. YAY parents! They aren't bad, don't get me wrong...but I think BEATING the other parent for custody was more for the WIN not the kid. Unfortunately I suffered in that battle.
I had a normal childhood. Played with Barbies, Easy Bake Ovens, and danced and sang in my room. It wasn't until that horrible age of about 12/13 ... you know that wonderful age where your friends go through the CHANGE...not the puberty change...but the SOCIAL STATUS change.....where overnight somehow in some cosmic way it is decided who is cool and who is not. Apparently I was NOT cool, and the people who were once nice to me and ate lunch with me decided I was not accepted in the higher form of status they were given while sleeping...ya..it still boggles my mind how that happened....was it my gap teeth that was my automatic disqualification....but hey...I have these GREAT blue eyes...doesn't that balance out that flaw? For whatever reason....I was at the bottom of the food chain, and it was lonely and depressing. It was a less than memorable junior high existence. Thank God I had the group of girls that never betrayed me or ever made me feel "unworthy". Michelle, Christy, and Angela....THANK YOU. Junior High was the pivotal change in my self esteem...that is when self doubt and self pity set in. Why can't I be cool? Why can't I be popular...what is wrong with ME?
High School..9th and 10th..pretty much the same. I was not bullied per-say, the way I see kids today bullied, but I was taught "my place"... and I stayed in it. I couldn't afford to rock that boat...I still had the big gap teeth, and very noticeable Kmart wardrobe in a Jordache kind of world. Found new friends as my Jr. High buddies were making new friends as well, and we slowly drifted apart. The problem I found at this point in my life was maintaining more than ONE friend...Was it the trauma of the Jr. High change? For whatever reason, I really only wanted my friend to be MY friend and nobody else's......as Dr. Phil would say..."so how'd that work out for you?" It didn't! LOL... I was almost, okay not almost...I was clingy. Embarrassingly so.
I spent most of my time when I wasn't doing " teen girl" things with my BFF, Yesenia...who by the Grace of God saw past whatever everybody else didn't like about me, and truly loved me....if not at the mall, sunbathing with baby oil, or on the phone I was.reading and writing Short stories about young beautiful girls with the most amazing boyfriends...oh Bjorne....and the twins Holianna and Polianna who were all in a love triangle....I found a life I could create and be a part of fictionally...yet could NEVER actually truly attain, Where was I that fateful night someone was handing out status points???
In the 11th grade I moved...switched schools...and reinvented myself the best I could. Even changing my name to Jenna....life was better, and I still wasn't hanging out with the cheerleaders...but I was comfortable. by the 12th grade....another school...and it was horrible. That is when I got pregnant with our oldest...and ultimately dropped out all together. (That awesome feeling when you say MOM DAD...I'm 17 and pregnant.....and they send you to an unwed mothers home so as they don't have to handle the "problem",,,,, ya that still stings....but again my parents were about the WIN not the KID!
I didn't survive jr and sr high....I slithered my way through maintaining "my place" trying my hardest to just BLEND in. If they don't notice me, they won't hurt my feelings. Because quite honestly....the words we hear good or bad....stay with us forever. If maybe I had braces..it wouldn't have gone so far...I don't know. See how I constantly refer to those damned teeth...but really HONESTLY....I don't know what else was wrong with me to be the target of such disgust from others...like I was a walking disease....I have done great soul searching in my lifetime,,,and that is still the ONE thing I can't figure out.....why was I put in the "loser" category? Okay...enough of that, I rambled deeper than I planned.
What I took from my school experience is this... It's hard to be a kid...it's damn near impossible to get out unscathed in some way. But if we make it....we have a story. My experience was like many others, and better than many more....but...MY experience is what I know, and what has helped contribute to who I am today. Being an outcast from dances, parties, and the cool table...did NOT define who I am...but it was a major contributor to the next several years.
I had my first child at 17...and by the time I was 26 we had 4 beautiful children together. There's a big gap in the story, because that will be for another day :o) But at about the time I had our last child is when I started realizing the person I was...wasn't who I wanted to be, I was depressed, had no self esteem, and truly just "existed". I was VERY defensive and timid with new people. I was the most paranoid person you would ever meet....I felt as though everyone was against me, didn't like me, and I was unworthy of anyone else caring about me but my husband. I of course feeling that way, pretty much made me an angry, bitter, pathetic kind of person to be around. I had my husband, I had my kids....but who the hell was I? Isn't it time to figure this out and find that REAL genuine smile that I hadn't seen in years.
The times were changing, I worked for a long time on what needed to be addressed in my life to find what personality of mine ( so many to choose from hahahaha) I wanted to nurture, and which ones I wanted to put to bed for good. The husband.....without going tooooooo deep into that because that's a novel all on it's own....he found me when I was 17, Broken, damaged, cast aside by not only my friends but by my own FAMILY as well...enough said???? He trained me the way he wanted me, and I really had no idea that was even happening. I got used to ASKING for things, Getting PERMISSION, Acting like a "stepford" wife (without the clean house of course...keeping it real). Did he do this on purpose...I truly doubt it, he knew no better either, and because I had NO clue as to what a "normal" relationship truly was....I should just be thrilled someone was taking care of me. The parents quit...and there was NO sight of them coming in to save me from myself...so I took these years as - just be happy he is still here and hasn't deserted your sorry ass too. Who else will deal with you and your screwed up self? My eyes opened on that situation one day...and I was like....UMMMMMMM I don't think so!!! Just a snippet into that situation, so much more that will be revealed later...
The search was on..and I was looking hard at myself, my personal issues, and the issues of others.What was real...what was fabricated, and what was just plain old baggage from way back when from family to friends that created this and I put it on like my favorite slippers??? I was allowing others to DECIDE who I was....I searched, I cried, I got mad, and I got answers... I found self worth. Not just because I was a good Mom....but because I actually had something to offer...I had ME. Quite frankly...ME is pretty cool. Teeth got fixed...I grew out of that awkward stage that seemed to last 15 years too long...lol, and I actually woke up one day looked in the mirror and said.....ummm, where'd you come from? I am not and never was beautiful (by Jr. High standards ya know, lol)...not in the least...but I saw something I had never seen....it was that OMG I wasn't UGLY! Did anything change? No, I just saw myself from my own eyes, not the mean kids in school or the family who had betrayed my childhood.... for the VERY FIRST time in my life. I had broken free from that burden...and it felt wonderful.
I have a voice, I have opinions, and I have LOVE to give. True, honest, unconditional love..but....I also have found boundaries, and only those DESERVING of my love - get my love. I can't afford to waste my time or energy on people who can't return the love to me without conditions.(crazy how there are more people in our lives that have strings, than those who do not) I don't have room in my life for fair weathered friends, or toxic personalities, I have no need to "collect" friends. No desire to put on some show to be accepted by different groups of people. I am who I am...I am raw. I am real, and I YES, I am so VERY flawed!
I can appreciate the roads I must have HAD to take to get to this place in life...but I do wonder....how many of those detours and roadblocks were my own doing. Self sabotaging without even realizing it. Why did it take so long to find peace within? Those answers I may never know...but what I do know..I will keep searching and looking , because there is ALWAYS more to the story, and more to learn. Using my experiences in EVERY way possible to help my daughters and sons to bypass as many of those detours as possible.
Life isn't easy.... from the moment the social status fairy (or for the other half, we refer to her as social status bitch) shows up in every one of our lives... everything is altered...whether for the good or bad...your LIFE does change at that moment. I just understand the Underside of that coin personally. As far as the parents part of my not so ideal childhood...that's a story for another day, or one I may keep to myself. I DO hold bitterness and anger to this day, more so because I AM a parent and just can't understand the ease to discard your own child, Blows my damned mind, honestly how a parent could really just "check out" on the responsibility to THEIR child......but I am at peace with JUST enough of it to allow myself to NOT let it control me any longer. I have a relationship with them that I keep within lines. My life, MY boundaries. That's how I roll.
I have skipped things, years, and many other contributing factors to who I am,... but this was getting too long, so perhaps another day...another look into ME. But for now...I made it to a happy place, and for now....that is ALL that matters!
I am now 42. I have a better understanding of "my place"... and it's any damn where I want it to be!
I now OWN the cool table....I AM the party, and I LIVE at the top of the food chain.
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Why now and What's the meaning of the title?
Okay...so I am going to try again to blog, and stick with it for longer this time...I like this set up, and it's very easy...so here's to hopin!
First off...I am Jennifer, I have 4 awesome kids, 1 husband, 2 dogs, and many personalities in my head to deal with...I have a huge ...... addiction, and my 2nd born HATES the dot dot dot addiction, GET OVER IT...I hate your breathing addiction.
Okay...so that right there opens up who I am...do I really WANT her dead...NO...I am sarcastic, and sometimes say things others find inappropriate...but I'm harmless, and l can safely say 100% if I haven't killed a kid yet...it's NOT gonna happen...they are now 24, 20, 18, and 15......the hard part is over..but my job WILL never be done...ask the girls...I AM that Mother....meddle you say? No...if it concerns MY baby..it concerns me...it's ALL my business!
I've been married 22 years...to this guy I met at CHURCH, slept with AND got pregnant on the first date...and here we are...25 years later. I tell ya, I got stories!
Here's the cliff notes to my children and who some of my stories will be about:
FIRST BORN - (24) A perfect baby, wonderful child....then something went horribly wrong and she became socially awkward and really had NO interest in people whatsoever...almost a HATE for mankind (hmmm, did I have something to do with that, lol) graduated HS, joined the Army, deployed to Iraq for 1 year, married, divorced, and back in the dating scene. Still has a low tolerance for people, but she is a GREAT animal person :o)
SECOND BORN - (20) hell on wheels...the one who "rocks the boat", the one who would make any parent proud and spitting angry at the same time. As of recent times, is doing the "gay" thing (I have still not come to COMPLETE terms with this (Pentecostal and all, ya know)), She is brilliant and beautiful...and has cost me the most of my sleepless nights! God Love her! As an adult she has blossomed into a strong and well spoken young lady. She was my Bonnie!
THIRD BORN - (18) oh the PUNK ASS KID....sorry no other way to describe this child...oh he was a rotten rotten tween and teen....prior to that stage...a wonderful sweet little guy who just made my heart melt when I saw him smile...unfortunately that little guy...stayed LITTLE...which created a chip on his shoulder, little man syndrome...and all those colorful wonderful side effects from those two GREAT attributes....UGH..(he is his father's son) . We actually got him to graduation...a HUGE sigh of relief...that was the toughest 12 years of my life...this punk ass kid, has been turning into this young man..who has respect for others and himself...it's a beautiful thing. he IS a nice young man. (he was my Clyde)
FOURTH BORN - (15) What else is there to say...he's the baby...he can do no wrong....he's perfect, he's precious, and now....the TRUTH...
Okay, so I got tired after the 1st 3...I kinda dropped the ball on this one, lol....but he's a good kid, who has finally become the ONLY CHILD..and I am looking forward to seeing him become the young man I know he is! Not having to fight for attention, or banter with siblings...he has us alllllll to himself...he has WON!!!!!!!!!!!! :o)
So just with the husband..the kids....and the dogs, there's plenty to write about....but there's a lot in my head I need to get out, from random thoughts, to parenting 101 from yours truly...and a gazillion dot dot dots before it's all over with I'm sure!
My life....it's what I know...it's what I have been mastering for the past 42 years...I'm just now finally getting the hang of it...and I LOVE it!
I don't always come off sweet and caring...more like sarcastic and borderline bitchy is more or less who I present myself as...but underneath the jokes, the sarcasm, and the eyerolls...I have 4 beautiful amazing children who I would do anything for, a husband who even though we don't have the "country love song" kind of relationship (we're better represented by Dan and Roseanne with a little Peg and Al mixed in!) is the REASON I have survived all these kids...lol...he keeps me grounded and in check...sometimes to the degree of CONTROLLING AND A-HOLE status, but that's just part of his "charm" (eyeroll)....back away from the chauvinist ladies...this one is ALL mine!
Laughter....that is what I hope to bring to the table... When not talking about my crazy dysfunctional but amazing family... I'll just talk about those things that annoy me....okay that alone could take up every space the internet has...but ...point is...there is SO MUCH to say...and I have the mouth and the fingers and the DOTS to get it done!
Walk up to the window of MY LIFE...unfiltered .... and unedited! :o)
First off...I am Jennifer, I have 4 awesome kids, 1 husband, 2 dogs, and many personalities in my head to deal with...I have a huge ...... addiction, and my 2nd born HATES the dot dot dot addiction, GET OVER IT...I hate your breathing addiction.
Okay...so that right there opens up who I am...do I really WANT her dead...NO...I am sarcastic, and sometimes say things others find inappropriate...but I'm harmless, and l can safely say 100% if I haven't killed a kid yet...it's NOT gonna happen...they are now 24, 20, 18, and 15......the hard part is over..but my job WILL never be done...ask the girls...I AM that Mother....meddle you say? No...if it concerns MY baby..it concerns me...it's ALL my business!
I've been married 22 years...to this guy I met at CHURCH, slept with AND got pregnant on the first date...and here we are...25 years later. I tell ya, I got stories!
Here's the cliff notes to my children and who some of my stories will be about:
FIRST BORN - (24) A perfect baby, wonderful child....then something went horribly wrong and she became socially awkward and really had NO interest in people whatsoever...almost a HATE for mankind (hmmm, did I have something to do with that, lol) graduated HS, joined the Army, deployed to Iraq for 1 year, married, divorced, and back in the dating scene. Still has a low tolerance for people, but she is a GREAT animal person :o)
SECOND BORN - (20) hell on wheels...the one who "rocks the boat", the one who would make any parent proud and spitting angry at the same time. As of recent times, is doing the "gay" thing (I have still not come to COMPLETE terms with this (Pentecostal and all, ya know)), She is brilliant and beautiful...and has cost me the most of my sleepless nights! God Love her! As an adult she has blossomed into a strong and well spoken young lady. She was my Bonnie!
THIRD BORN - (18) oh the PUNK ASS KID....sorry no other way to describe this child...oh he was a rotten rotten tween and teen....prior to that stage...a wonderful sweet little guy who just made my heart melt when I saw him smile...unfortunately that little guy...stayed LITTLE...which created a chip on his shoulder, little man syndrome...and all those colorful wonderful side effects from those two GREAT attributes....UGH..(he is his father's son) . We actually got him to graduation...a HUGE sigh of relief...that was the toughest 12 years of my life...this punk ass kid, has been turning into this young man..who has respect for others and himself...it's a beautiful thing. he IS a nice young man. (he was my Clyde)
FOURTH BORN - (15) What else is there to say...he's the baby...he can do no wrong....he's perfect, he's precious, and now....the TRUTH...
Okay, so I got tired after the 1st 3...I kinda dropped the ball on this one, lol....but he's a good kid, who has finally become the ONLY CHILD..and I am looking forward to seeing him become the young man I know he is! Not having to fight for attention, or banter with siblings...he has us alllllll to himself...he has WON!!!!!!!!!!!! :o)
So just with the husband..the kids....and the dogs, there's plenty to write about....but there's a lot in my head I need to get out, from random thoughts, to parenting 101 from yours truly...and a gazillion dot dot dots before it's all over with I'm sure!
My life....it's what I know...it's what I have been mastering for the past 42 years...I'm just now finally getting the hang of it...and I LOVE it!
I don't always come off sweet and caring...more like sarcastic and borderline bitchy is more or less who I present myself as...but underneath the jokes, the sarcasm, and the eyerolls...I have 4 beautiful amazing children who I would do anything for, a husband who even though we don't have the "country love song" kind of relationship (we're better represented by Dan and Roseanne with a little Peg and Al mixed in!) is the REASON I have survived all these kids...lol...he keeps me grounded and in check...sometimes to the degree of CONTROLLING AND A-HOLE status, but that's just part of his "charm" (eyeroll)....back away from the chauvinist ladies...this one is ALL mine!
Laughter....that is what I hope to bring to the table... When not talking about my crazy dysfunctional but amazing family... I'll just talk about those things that annoy me....okay that alone could take up every space the internet has...but ...point is...there is SO MUCH to say...and I have the mouth and the fingers and the DOTS to get it done!
Walk up to the window of MY LIFE...unfiltered .... and unedited! :o)
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